Who is the Knitta in charge over here, who is the Knitta in charge?

Have you ever wondered why fire hydrants don't have knitted woolen hats and then had the shit slapped out of you for asking such an inane question? Well now it's your time to do the slappin'! Recent developments in the mentality of street vandals have lead to a new, warmer wave of crime... I'm talking 'bout a crew of bad ass knittas here, ya heard?

Knitta Please is a roving band thugs, hell bent on keeping street fixtures warm at any cost. Wanted in 3 states for reckless slip stitching, these 5 needle toting ruffians have really pulled the wool over the eyes over local authorities in their hood of Houston, TX area. 

Officer Sam Squamtch of the local constabulary said  " These is some real dangerous knittas, you know?

Left Coas' Knittas beware!