The jockey shorts of Mac fan boys everywhere were filled today by everyone's favorite tech cool guy, Steve Jobs. Apple announced 2 new iPods and revamped one in a seminar at the Moscone center in San Fransisco. So without further ado, let me introduce you to the candidates...
The Nano:

Description: It's short, stubby and I can watch videos with it ...like a girl I once dated!
Features: Video, new iPod OS, comes in 5 snazzy colours (including cranberry...oooooo), 4/8GB, $149/$199
Thoughts: cool, small just got smaller. So now when you're sweating it out at the airport, worrying about that Turkmenistanian midget horse pornography you've been collecting on your iPod to impress your friends - don't. You can just hoop it.
The iPod Classic:

Description: same as video iPod before but it's got an all metal casing.
Features: Video, new iPod OS, comes in 2 boring colours, black or silver, 80/160(!!)GB $249/$299
Thoughts: Meh...athough I do like the brushed steel front and the 160GB drive - That's almost my entire collection of The OC aaaaannnnnd Laguna Beach. Word.
The iPod Touch: (must be whispered for maximum effectiveness)

Description: Sleek, Sexy and you have to touch the front to turn it on - kinda like my dream....TV.
Features: new 3.5" inch screen, OS X, Wi Fi capability (surf that intertron, surf it!), wi-fi iTunes store, 8mm thick!!! (that's tiny!) 8GB/16GB flash memory, $299/$399
Thoughts: I'd probably sell broken glass filled toffees to a toothless man right now to have one of these puppies. But I guess I'll just have to wait until the end of the month like everyone else.
Well Zune, are you crying in a ditch somewhere with nothing to comfort you but that bottle of cooking sherry?
You should be.
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